Lush escorts » Escort Advice » How to Communicate Your Needs and Desires to Your Escort
Become an escort with Lush

Have you ever felt hesitant about communicating your needs and desires to your escort? Do you worry about offending them or coming across as too demanding? It’s important to remember that communication is key in any relationship, even a professional or hired one.

Engaging in an escort-client relationship can be a fulfilling experience, but it requires mutual understanding and respect. Many clients struggle with expressing their needs and desires to their escorts, which can lead to dissatisfaction and disappointment.

Clear communication is essential in any escort-client relationship. Whether you’re a first-time client or a seasoned punter, it’s important to know how to effectively communicate your needs and desires to your escort. In this article, we’ll provide you with tips and strategies for communicating with your escort in a respectful and effective way.

Client communicating his requirements to an escort
Businessman talking to his escort companion about what he wants from her during their time together whilst she is knelt up next to him on the bed in sexy lingerie

A Brief Overview of Escorts and Their Services

Escorts play a crucial role in the personal lives of many individuals seeking companionship, entertainment, and even sexual services. They fill a gap for people who may not have the time or desire to commit to a traditional romantic relationship but still crave quality time with someone they trust. However, effectively communicating your needs and desires with your escort can be a challenge, and it’s essential to establish clear bi-directional communication channels to ensure a positive and enjoyable experience. But don’t worry, we’ll provide insights and tips on how to communicate your needs and desires with your escort, and build a trustworthy and respectful professional relationship.

Understanding the Different Types of Escort Relationships

Escort relationships can take various forms, with nuances that determine the nature of your interactions and what you can expect from them. Generally speaking, there are a few types of escort relationships that you need to be aware of, each with unique features to consider before deciding on who to spend time with.

Long-term escort relationships can be broadly characterized into three categories: those seeking companionship and emotional intimacy, those seeking sexual services, and those seeking a combination of both. While this might seem obvious, it’s crucial to recognise what type of relationship you’re seeking as expectations, wants, and boundaries can be different.

Companionship and emotional intimacy are two of the primary ingredients that people seek in escort relationships. This type of relationship is geared towards individuals that want someone to talk to, share experiences with, and engage in activities such as dinners, movies, or watching the sunset – essentially, a type of romantic relationship.

On the other hand, those seeking strictly sexual services are interested in using escorts for sexual encounters and techniques. Typically, they would have specific demands or desires, which the escort would need to fulfil. If you’re in this category, it’s vital to communicate your needs and boundaries so that everyone is clear on the limits of the interaction.

Lastly, some people are interested in having both companionship and emotional intimacy as well as sexual services in their long-term escort relationships. This type of interaction is a combination of the two previous categories, and you’re likely to find people with diverse interests and needs here.

Apart from these categories, it’s important to recognise independent companions and agency professionals, two primary types of long-term escort relationships. Independent companions are self-employed and offer their services independently without any affiliation with any particular agency. They typically respond to inquiries directly and are known for offering personalised services. For agency professionals, they work under the name of an agency and price limits and service requirements can be predetermined, depending on the agency.

Photo of a BDSM escort that has many long term relationships with her UK clients
Photo of a BDSM escort that has many long term relationships with her UK clients

Communicating Your Needs and Desires to an Escort

When it comes to hiring an escort, effective communication is key to ensuring a positive experience. Whether you’re seeking companionship or strictly sexual services, it’s important to establish clear expectations, boundaries, and desires. We will explore how to communicate your needs and desires to your escort, ensuring there are no nasty surprises for both parties involved.

Being Clear About What You Want

Being clear about what you want is essential when it comes to getting the most out of your escort experience. To begin, think about the specific types of activities you want to engage in during your booking. Do you want a companion for a romantic evening out? Are you looking for a more personal and intimate encounter? Do you desire something more professional or business-oriented?

If you’re unsure of what you want, it’s okay to be honest with your escort and ask for guidance. They are professionals who understand the complexities of a client’s needs. By being clear about your level of experience and any anxieties you may have, your companion can tailor their approach to ensure that you feel comfortable and at ease.

It’s also important to introduce the topic of your escort’s profession early on in your relationship to avoid any potential jealousy issues down the line. By being open and honest about your intentions and expectations, you’ll be able to establish a more trusting and positive experience.

When discussing your sexual desires, it’s important to be clear and concise. List the key fantasies or desires you want to explore, but make sure that they align with your personal boundaries. Effective communication is key to ensuring that both parties feel comfortable and secure during the booking.

Setting Boundaries Right Away

When entering into a new escort relationship, setting boundaries is crucial for establishing a safe and fulfilling experience. Boundaries allow both parties to understand the expectations and desires of each other, creating a framework for the relationship to grow within.

When discussing boundaries, it’s important to cover key elements such as expectations, desires, services, fees, and availability. This includes being clear about the services that will be provided, any additional fees, and the expectations for each encounter. It’s also important to discuss availability and scheduling to avoid conflicts or misunderstandings.

Equally important is the need to respect the established boundaries. While it can be tempting to push boundaries or ask for more than what was agreed upon, doing so can undermine the trust and professionalism of the relationship. Respecting boundaries promotes comfort and safety, creating an environment where clients can feel secure and confident in their experiences.

Establishing clear boundaries and respecting them can lead to a higher level of trust and professionalism in the relationship, ultimately leading to a higher chance of longevity. Regular communication and a mutual understanding of the expectations can ensure that both parties are satisfied with the arrangement.

An escort expressing her happiness due to loving her job because she sets the boundaries clearly with all her customers in advance
An escort expressing her happiness due to loving her job because she sets the boundaries clearly with all her customers in advance

When it comes to any type of relationship, whether it’s romantic, professional or sexual, establishing clear and adequate boundaries is important. This is especially true in the escort industry, where both parties need to express their needs and desires for a positive experience. However, it’s equally important that consent and respect for privacy are taken into account.

Consent is a critical aspect of any relationship, and it’s no different for client-escort relationships. Both parties need to be clear on what they’re comfortable with, and verbalise it clearly. Consent can be about physical touch, frequency of communication, and other forms of contact.

On the other hand, privacy is also essential. While the escort will undoubtedly know some private details about the client’s life, they are not at liberty to share any information with anyone else without prior consent. This is a crucial aspect of the relationship as it can lead to the breakdown of trust and respect if not taken into account. As a client, it’s important to also respect the escort’s privacy by not probing into their personal life.

Establishing boundaries and consent not only promotes a safe and comfortable environment, but it also helps build a respectful relationship. It’s essential to openly discuss these aspects and reach a mutual agreement to avoid any misunderstandings or misinterpretations. This can lead to a positive and enjoyable experience for both parties.

Discussing Payment Expectations Upfront

When booking an escort, one of the most important aspects to discuss upfront is payment expectations. It’s crucial to have a frank and open discussion about money before the meeting to avoid any miscommunication.

To ensure that the client gets the services they want and the escort gets paid for their time and effort, it is essential to be clear about what services are being paid for and how much each service costs. Rates may vary depending on the escort’s experience, the type of service provided, the location, and the duration of the booking. It’s crucial to establish these terms before the appointment starts to avoid any misunderstandings.

It’s also important to discuss the payment methods that the client can use to pay the escort. Most escorts accept cash, credit or debit cards, bank transfers, cryptocurrency or electronic payment methods such as PayPal. Some escorts prefer payment in gifts, so she may have a “wish list” for an item of clothing or a product. She may even ask the customer to pay her water bill or electricity bill directly from his account, as a payment-in-kind. The client should choose the payment method that suits them best and is agreed upon by the escort.

Many escorts require a non-returnable deposit upfront to guarantee the booking. This is to prevent any no-shows or last-minute cancellations, which can be detrimental to their business. It’s essential to discuss the deposit amount and payment terms before the booking is confirmed to avoid any surprises.

An escort in fish net stockings and basque sat on her bed counting the money her customer has just paid her in Cash
An escort in fish net stockings and basque sat on her bed counting the money her customer has just paid her in Cash

Being Open About Your Sexual Desires, If Applicable

When booking an escort, it’s important to remember that a lot of the time, sex may be involved. Therefore, it’s crucial to establish mutual consent and respect when discussing sexual desires. It can be daunting to bring up the topic, but being open and honest is the best way to ensure that both parties are satisfied with the experience.

If applicable, describe the specific sexual acts or preferences you are interested in exploring. It’s important to remember that the escort is a professional and has boundaries and limitations, but they may also be open to new experiences. Therefore, being open and honest about your desires can help create a positive and enjoyable experience for both the client and the escort.

When discussing sexual desires, communication should be clear and direct, yet sensitive to each other’s feelings and comfort levels. It’s crucial to establish mutual consent and respect so that both parties feel comfortable and safe throughout the experience.

Most professional escorts, whether independent or with an agency, will have a profile page with their services. Many escort directories offer escort adverts to list their services too. From these service guidelines, you can expand on the level of service when you contact your chosen escort. For example, she may offer a submissive spanking service on her profile. So during your initial contact you can ask her to go into more detail a to what level of spanking she will receive. 

Respecting the Limits of the Professional Relationship

Respecting the limits of an escort-client relationship is of utmost importance! As with any relationship, it is essential that both parties understand and agree upon the boundaries to maintain professionalism and avoid conflict. Boundaries help to establish clear expectations and provide a framework for the relationship to grow and develop.

In an escort-client relationship, it is crucial to establish and communicate these boundaries clearly and effectively to ensure that both the escort and client are comfortable and at ease with each other. Communication plays a critical role in setting boundaries, and it is essential to have open and honest communication from the beginning of the relationship.

The limits of the relationship may vary from one client to another and may include the types of services offered, the frequency of contact, and the level of emotional involvement. It is common for both parties to have different expectations from the relationship, and setting clear boundaries can help navigate potential issues that may arise.

For instance, it is essential to discuss the frequency of contact that both parties are comfortable with. Some clients may prefer a long-term escort relationship, while others may be interested in a one-time encounter. It is crucial to establish these expectations beforehand to avoid any misunderstandings or hurt feelings.

Moreover, it is essential to respect each other’s boundaries for a successful escort-client relationship. If the client or escort is uncomfortable with any particular act or behaviour, it should be addressed immediately. This open and honest communication can help maintain professionalism and ensure that both parties feel safe, respected, and valued.

Keeping Communication Professional Yet Friendly

When interacting with an escort, it’s essential to maintain a professional, yet friendly tone throughout all communications. This means being respectful and courteous at all times, refraining from the use of vulgar language, and avoiding making unreasonable demands. Unless of course it has been pre-agreed with the escort that you can use vulgar language!

Setting clear boundaries and expectations from the beginning of the relationship is crucial to maintaining a professional and respectful tone. Discussing the activities you want to engage in and any restrictions or limits you may have will help both parties avoid misunderstandings and build-up of anxiety or tension.

Additionally, when communicating with your escort, make sure to take the time to listen to their needs and desires. This means paying attention to what they have to say, asking questions when necessary, and being patient and understanding throughout the process.

A courteous approach to communication is also beneficial when it comes to discussing any sensitive or potentially delicate topics. By approaching these subjects with respect, both parties are more likely to feel comfortable and willing to engage in constructive, positive dialogue.

Polite communication with your escort
A male customer politely communicating with an escort and shaking her hand to confirm what they have agreed upon

Ways to Improve Your Communication with an Escort

Effective communication is key to any type of relationship, including long-term escort-client relationships. While escorts provide sexual services and companionship, treating them with respect and kindness is essential for a positive experience. Therefore, we will discuss how to communicate your needs and desires to your companion, and how to ensure that your communication is effective and respectful. By improving your communication skills, you can create a stronger, healthier, and more enjoyable experience for both you and your escort.

Be Honest and Respectful in All Communications

When it comes to your personal life, romantic relationships, or even professional relationships, communication is always an important aspect. In a sexual relationship, the need for effective communication becomes even more crucial. It can be difficult to communicate your needs and desires to your escort, but it is essential if you want to have a positive experience.

The key to building a trustworthy and enjoyable experience with your escort is honesty and respect in all communications. Maintaining a professional yet friendly tone is essential to establish a positive relationship. Approach your escort with the understanding that they are professionals providing a service, and strive to communicate with them respectfully.

Effective communication is the foundation of any positive relationship. Whether it’s spending quality time or expressing your sexual desires, always communicate your needs and expectations to your escort. Having a bi-directional communication channel makes it easier to avoid misunderstandings, ensuring that both parties are on the same page.

Respectful communication also shows appreciation for your escort’s services and efforts. Always keep in mind that they are a person, and they deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. If you show your escort that you value and respect them, they are more likely to provide you with a quality experience.

Show Appreciation for Their Services and Efforts

Part of having a positive and enjoyable experience with an escort is showing appreciation for their services and efforts. Not only does it make them feel valued and respected, but it can also encourage them to continue providing top-notch services for you and their other clients.

Showing appreciation can be done in various ways and doesn’t necessarily require a grand gesture. Simply thanking them for their time and companionship, complimenting their appearance or performance, leaving a tip, bringing a small bunch of flowers or box of chocolates, or writing a positive review can go a long way in letting them know that their efforts are appreciated.

Moreover, reminding your escort that their services and efforts are appreciated can motivate them to continue providing the same level of quality or even better services in the future. It can also create a more positive and respectful atmosphere for both you and your escort, leading to a more enjoyable and fulfilling experience overall.

A High class local escort girl smiling after reading a message from one of her customers on her smartphone where he is showing her a lot of appreciation
A High class local escort girl smiling after reading a message from one of her customers on her smartphone where he is showing her a lot of appreciation

Make Sure You are both on the Same Page about Expectations

When it comes to booking an escort, it’s important to ensure that both you and your companion are on the same page about what you’re looking for in the experience. This means having an open and honest conversation about your expectations, boundaries, and desires.

One key aspect to discuss is the type of experience you’re after. If you’re looking for a genuine GFE (Girlfriend Experience), it’s important to confirm that this is something your escort is able to provide. If they are only available for sexual services, there may be some disappointment or confusion if you arrive expecting a different type of experience.

Another important conversation to have relates to booking terms. This includes discussing the length of the booking, how much it will cost, and whether you’ll be meeting them at their location or if they will be coming to you. These details should be clear and agreed upon before the booking begins, in order to avoid misunderstandings or confusion down the line.


In conclusion, communicating your needs and desires to your escort can be a difficult but rewarding process. It requires careful consideration, an understanding of the escort’s boundaries and limitations, and patience to ensure that both parties are comfortable with the arrangement. With these tips in mind, you can create a safe and mutually beneficial relationship with your escort. Remember to always communicate openly, honestly, and respectfully – you may find that it not only improves your experience, but also strengthens the bond between you and your escort.

Become an escort with Lush

Sign In


Reset Password

Please enter your username or email address, you will receive a link to create a new password via email.