Are you in a long-term relationship and looking to improve your sex life? Or maybe you’re searching for ways to add some spice to your sexual experiences with your partner? Regardless of where you are in your relationship, maintaining a satisfying sex life is an essential part of a healthy relationship. Research shows that sexual satisfaction significantly affects relationship satisfaction, intimacy, and overall happiness.
However, it’s important to note that having great sex doesn’t always come naturally – it takes work and effort to maintain sexual intimacy and connection over time. But don’t worry, the Lush blog has got you covered! We reached out to sex experts and relationship therapists to put together a list of seven tips for better sex. These expert-approved tips can be applied by couples of any sexual orientation at any stage of their relationship. Whether you’re looking to intensify sexual arousal or build emotional intimacy, these tips will guide you towards achieving a more fulfilling sex life.
Tip 1: Set Aside Time for Intimacy
In a long-term relationship, it’s easy to fall into the routine of everyday life and neglect the importance of intimacy. However, sexual satisfaction is a critical component of a healthy relationship. If you’re struggling to find time for intimacy in your busy lives, scheduling time for it can ensure that it becomes a priority in your relationship.
Setting aside time for intimacy has many benefits, including strengthening emotional intimacy and improving overall relationship satisfaction. When you prioritise intimacy, it shows your partner that this aspect of your relationship is vital and valued. As a result, both partners are more likely to feel loved, desired, and connected.
When choosing the right time for intimacy, it’s essential to eliminate any potential distractions that might impede your pleasure. If you have children, consider finding a babysitter or planning date nights when the kids are at their grandparents’ house. Turn off your phone and focus on each other. When you are present, intimacy can thrive and flourish.
So, how can you practically set aside time for intimacy? Consider scheduling sex either weekly or bi-weekly, depending on your busy schedules, and select a specific time that works well for both partners. This arrangement allows you to anticipate the physical connection and build up excitement for intensified pleasure.
Tip 2: Communicate Openly about Your Needs and Desires
Effective communication is vital to any healthy relationship, and this is especially true when it comes to sexual satisfaction. Couples who can openly discuss their needs and desires are more likely to experience a happier and more fulfilling sexual relationship.
By communicating openly, couples can explore each other’s preferences and boundaries confidently. This allows them to understand and respect each other’s sexual needs, leading to a more satisfying experience for both partners.
For instance, discussing your fantasies with your partner can deepen your emotional connection, build trust, and improve your overall relationship satisfaction. Also, exploring boundaries helps couples to establish healthy sexual limits and avoid any potential discomfort.
When communicating with your partner, be clear and specific about your needs and desires. Take the time to listen actively, and ensure that you both respect each other’s boundaries. Remember that sexual communication should be an ongoing process that evolves with time, and you should regularly check in with your partner to ensure that your experience is mutually satisfying.
Here are some topics that couples should consider discussing:
- Sexual preferences and dislikes
- Frequency of sex
- Types of foreplay
- Experimenting with new positions or toys
By openly discussing these topics with your partner, you can create a safe and positive environment for exploring your sexual desires and unlocking more pleasure in your intimate life.
Tip 3: Seek Guidance from a Professional or Expert
While open communication with your partner is crucial for a fulfilling sexual relationship, sometimes seeking guidance from a professional or expert can provide a new perspective, helpful advice, and additional tools for improving your sexual experience.
One option to consider is seeking the help of a sex therapist or coach. These professionals are trained to address a wide range of sexual issues, from communication barriers to erectile dysfunction. They can help you and your partner navigate difficult topics and provide helpful strategies for improving your sexual relationship.
Additionally, exploring the use of sexual aids like arousal gels or toys can add excitement and novelty to your sex life. These products can enhance sexual stimulation, increase blood flow, and improve sexual experience. However, it’s essential to do your research and consult a professional before trying any new products to ensure that they’re safe and suitable for you.
Unfortunately, there is still a stigma surrounding seeking sexual guidance, which can prevent people from seeking the help they need. This stigma can be particularly problematic for men who may feel that seeking help is a sign of weakness or inferior masculinity. However, seeking sexual guidance is nothing to be ashamed of, and it takes courage to acknowledge that you need help. Additionally, overcoming this stigma and seeking help can lead to greater sexual satisfaction, improved relationships, and overall well-being.
Tip 4: Spice Things Up in the Bedroom
Variety is the spice of life, and this principle certainly applies to your sex life. Trying new things in the bedroom or beyond can add excitement, novelty, and even better sex to your relationship. Here are some ideas for how to spice things up:
1. Try new positions: This is a simple but effective way to mix things up. Experimenting with different positions can provide new sensations and even lead to more intense orgasms. Be open to trying new things, and don’t be afraid to combine positions or add some variation to your usual favourites.
2. Introduce sex toys or erotic games: Masturbation aids like vibrators, dildos, or anal plugs can help you and your partner explore new sensations and intensify your pleasure. Erotic games like truth or dare can be a fun way to explore each other’s desires and fantasies.
3. Engage in more physical intimacy: Touching, kissing, and caressing each other’s bodies can create a deeper sense of intimacy and arousal. Don’t rush straight towards orgasm; take the time to enjoy the build-up and explore each other’s bodies.
It’s important to consider your partner’s desires when trying new things. You might find that they have fantasies or desires that they’ve never shared with you. Open communication and honesty are essential, so make sure that you’re both on the same page before trying something new.
Remember: there’s no one “right” way to spice things up. The key is to be creative, open-minded, and willing to try new things. With some experimentation, you might just find your new favourite way to enjoy sex!
Tip 5: Focus on Pleasure and Connection Over Performance Goals
In our fast-paced world, it’s not uncommon to put pressure on ourselves to meet performance goals in every aspect of our lives, including our sexual experiences. However, this focus on performance can often lead to feelings of anxiety and pressure, and can ultimately result in a less satisfying sexual experience for both partners. Instead, it’s important to prioritise pleasure and connection in order to achieve better sexual experiences.
One way to do this is to focus on communication and exploration with your partner. Instead of striving to achieve a specific goal or outcome, take the time to explore each other’s bodies and desires, and communicate openly and honestly about what feels pleasurable. By prioritising pleasure and connection over performance, you can create a more relaxed and enjoyable atmosphere, which can ultimately lead to more fulfilling sexual experiences.
It’s also important to acknowledge the prevalence of the orgasm gap. Research has shown that heterosexual women are less likely to experience orgasm during sexual encounters than their male partners. It’s crucial for individuals to take responsibility for their own pleasure, while still prioritising their partner’s needs and desires. By focusing on pleasure and connection, and communicating openly with your partner, you can work together to overcome this gap and achieve a more satisfying sexual life for both partners.
It’s also worth noting that sex should not be about quantity, but rather quality and the enjoyment of the experience. Prioritising time for sexual intimacy, and engaging in regular exercise to increase blood flow and promote sexual arousal, can also enhance your sexual experiences. By prioritising pleasure and connection, you can create a more satisfying, enjoyable, and sustainable sexual life for both partners.
Tip 6: Try Different Positions and Settings
When it comes to spicing up your sex life, adding some variety is key. Trying different positions can help to keep things interesting, while also providing new opportunities for pleasure and connection. Exploring a range of settings can also add an element of surprise and excitement. For example, you could try having sex in the shower or on the balcony of your home.
Additionally, you could explore new sex toys or props to add even more variety to your sex life. Sex toys and products can be a great way to add some novelty and excitement, while also allowing both partners to explore their own desires and pleasure. From vibrators and dildos to bondage gear and role play costumes, there is a wide range of products available that can help to increase your sexual pleasure.
Another way to add some excitement is to literally take sex out of the bedroom. The kitchen counter and living room can both provide opportunities for new experiences. Here are some examples:
- Kitchen Counter Sex: This sturdy surface can double as a great place to have sex. Try standing up against it, or sitting on it with your partner straddling you. You can also incorporate food into your play – just make sure it’s safe and hygienic!
- Living Room Sex: Sofas, armchairs, and even the floor can be great places for sex. Try different positions, like the cowgirl or doggy style, and experiment with pillows or blankets for added comfort.
Tip 7: Get Moving
Physical activity is another great way to spice up your sex life and to increase your overall physical health. Sex is not only fun, but it can also be a major source of physical and emotional pleasure. In addition to boosting your libido, regular exercise can help to improve blood flow and arousal, which can lead to more satisfying sexual experiences.
Whether you choose to go for a run, take a yoga class, or try something more adventurous like rock climbing or surfing, getting physical can be an excellent way to improve your sex life. Not only will exercise help to build strength and stamina, but it can also increase confidence in the bedroom and help you to explore new activities as a couple.
In conclusion, better sex is possible with the right mindset and communication. Openness, honesty, creativity, and exploration are all important aspects of finding new ways to experience pleasure. Communication and exploring each other’s bodies can also help to create a stronger connection between partners, leading to better sexual experiences overall. Lastly, focus on pleasure and connection over performance goals, acknowledging the orgasm gap for heterosexual couples, and prioritising quality over quantity. By following these tips, you can achieve better sexual experiences for both partners.